No Wedding Bells For Me
Music by Seymour Furth
Words by E.P. Moran and Will A. Heelan
Published 1906 by Maurice Shapiro.

[Verse 1]
Fair woman first was built ad. lib. on some instalment plan;
Her main foundation was the rib of poor unlucky man;
Each man to get that rib of his must wed some maiden fair,
But not for me, although there is a lot of ribs to spare.

[Chorus]
No wedding bells for me,
I'm as happy as can be,
Let the others all pick their ribs,
As for me I don;t like spareribs;
Gee Whiz!I'm glad I'm free;
No wedding bells for me.

[Verse 2]
My friend said: "Batch some dine with me,
my wife's a splendid cook;" When Missis Sauer saw me,
she, just gave his nibs a look;
A dozen kids began to shout while at the table there,
The baby took some sauerkraut and rubb'd it in my hair.

[Chorus 2]
No wedding bells for me,
I'm as happy as can be,
Tempt me not with trial marriage,
I'll not push a babby carriage;
Gee Whiz! I'm glad I'm free;
No wedding bells for me.

[Verse 3]
A girl who held an infant child, was hanging to a strap;
I had a seat and when she smiled, I took her on my lap;
I'm speaking of the baby, not the lady understand,
I scarcely had her when I got the laugh to beat the band.

[Chorus 3]
No wedding bells for me,
I'm as happy as can be,
Down my spine I felt a shiver,
Someone whistled Swanee River;
Gee Whiz!I'm glad I'm free;
No wedding bells for me.